Let It Be
by DreamImpossibleThings
Summary: After Esme has become very ill, its up to Edward to take care of his little sister and still manage to keep himself together. In a period of darkness Edward is nothing but broken. He makes all the wrong choices with all the wrong people. There is only one person who can truly save him, will he find her in time?
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys, so clearly I haven't posted any stories in a few years now and looking back at what I have writen I really don't like most of my work. I wont delete it because it just shows my improvement, and if you want to read some of my old stuff by all means go ahead! But this is my first time back writing and this story is a little bit darker and more mature so I really hope you enjoy it!**

**After Esme has become very ill, its up to Edward to take care of his little sister and still manage to keep himself together. In a period of darkness Edward is nothing but broken, but than Bella comes into his life. Shes always been there for him, but this time its different**

"Because I am not in the mood to create an actual partner sheet I will randomly choose a pair for this project. With your partner you will be given a problem that will have to be solved using research found inside and outside of class. Now, you must write a paper on the assignment as well as bring in some kind of hands on display that will count for half your grade! Please everyone, there are only a few weeks of school left. Just get this over with without an excuse!" Mr. Simons grumbled.

I sat in the back with my eyes closed and only half my brain listening. Most kids my age mimicked my actions, Mr. Simons chemistry class is legendary to all Forks students for being the most boring class, and on top of that its a Thursday afternoon. No one can keep there eyes open at this time. It was even harder for me because I had only gotten back from the hospital a few hours ago and all the stress from earlier today was finally getting to me. My grades are slipping away and my football scholarship doesn't seem important anymore, I guess I have to give up a little to make sure my family is okay. "Cullen!" Simons yelled at me. I rolled my eyes open and found them looking into a pair of worn out blue ones that belonged to my elder teacher. "Thanks for joining us, you and Swan will be given the problem 'why are my students falling asleep during my class.' You should be good at this one," he muttered. I did my best to contain my anger and glanced over at Bella Swan who had her deep chocolate eyes staring intensely back at me.

Mr. Simons excused himself to answer the phone and I was left thinking about the last time I had talked to Bella. It was before my mom was diagnosed. Bellas older brother Emmet and I had been best friends since we were kids and she always managed to wiggle herself into out plans. Because Bella was taking advanced science, and I had fallen so far behind we were in the same class.

"Cullen," Mr. Simons said with an unusual kindness. "The nurse needs to see you," he said. Bella's eyes were still looking into mine, but now her face was filled with compassion and worry. I snapped out of her trance and walked slowly out of the class and down the hall.

The last time I was in the nurse's office was last year. The principle waited solemnly by the nurse who looking pained just to see my face. The words that fell out of her mouth made me realize something was terribly wrong. They were the same exact words that the nurse was now repeating to me, only in different content. "Edward it's your sister." A wave of nausea hit me as I relived an awful déjà vu, something was wrong with my sister. My mother was currently so sick she couldn't leave the hospital and now the nurse was about to break me even worse news about my sister. She can't be hurt; she's the one person I would give my life too.

"What happened to her?" I yelled anxiously. The nurse's timid body jumped out of her chair as I slammed my fists down on the desk. She seemed caught up in her own sentence. "Don't just stand there! Is she okay?" I shouted.

"Edward," her assistant said calmly. "Everything is fine," she said. I glared annoying at her and waited for her to stop playing this game. She probably enjoyed seeing me on edge. All she does is hand out ice-packs and send home the occasional victim of the flu. One time she even got a pregnant girl, I'm sure she was thrilled about that.

"Your younger sister Marry Alice seemed to have gotten into a little trouble at school. One of the students made a rude joke about your mother and Alice punched her in the nose. Her parents are even thinking about pressing charges," the nurse sighed.

"Shes defending herself," I said automatically, almost happy that little Alice was standing up for herself. Another thought hit me, "Whose the little bitch who made a comment about my mom?" I asked, my body again raging with anger.

"Edward please," she hushed me. "We tried getting a hold of Carlise, who is written as her authorized guardian but he seems to be out of town," she mused.

I nodded, "He had to take a course out in Seattle."

"Well Alice is at the Charter Elementary school and has no way home, you have permission to leave school and go pick her up," she explained.

"Great," I muttered before stomping dramatically out of the office. It only took me a few minutes to drive over to the elementary school where Alice was. I walked into the building and made a quick left to where the main office was placed. After explaining what happened to the lady at the desk and getting a scolding for my sisters behavior, I was lead to a small room where Alice sat swinging her legs and looking more like an angel than someone who had just punched a girl.

"Edward!" she smiled happily.

"Hey there princess," I smiled, sticking out my hand so she could fist pump it. "Come on babe lets go get some lunch," I told her.

"Yay," she squealed. Alice being only six still loved me as her big brother, I was told on several occasions that when she gets older she going to start thinking of me as an annoying, embarrassing boy. I remember when my mom first told me we were going to be adopting a new baby. I was so excited I was no longer going to be a new child that I told my mom I wouldn't mind getting a few more. When I was younger I thought it was weird that my mom would 'buy' babies. I asked her why one didn't grow one in her tummy. It was hard for her to explain to her younger son that 'mommy has a problem where she cant have a baby in her tummy.' Some doctors think that might have been a side affect of her condition now.

"Edward, Alice will have to be excused from class for three days. She is allowed to return on Friday," Principle Solar said.

"Your suspending Alice for defending herself?" I asked in amazement.

"She injured another student Mr. Cullen," she said in a blunt voice.

"Well what does the other kid get as a punishment? She was making fun of Alice and disrespecting my mother," I argued. Alice pulled on my leg and told me we should go, but it wasn't time to go yet. Alice has been through enough at six years old, she doesn't need to be out of school now.

"That's confidential sir, I apologize. If your sister were in the other position where she got punched wouldn't you feel more secure knowing that offender was far away from your sister?" she asked.

"My sister was raised to have respect and not be a bitch to those less fortunate."

The car ride how was silent. I admit I might have crossed the line with Alices principle but I cant control my anger when someone in my family is being taken advantage of. Lets just say after my last comment I was kicked out of the school pretty quickly.

"Edward?" Alice asked in an innocent voice.

"Yeah doll?"

"Whats a bitch?" she asked curiously. I groaned and wiped my face indecisively.

"Its a bad word Alice-" I started.

"But you said it Edward! And mommy doesn't like bad words," she accused me.

"Listen I know she doesn't Alice," I said harshly I instantly regretted being rude to her and angrily ran my fingers between my locks of hair. "I'm sorry," I muttered. "Look I was just angry at that lady. She wasn't being fair, but I got out of control okay?" I said. She nodded. There was another moment of silence before I asked, "did that girl get what shes deserved?"

With a grin she nodded, "You taught me well!"

"That a girl," I smiled. "I think its better if we keep this between me and you alright? Moms under enough stress she doesn't need to worry about this," I said.

"Alright," Alice sighed.

"Good. Now lets go eat."

Later that night after making Alice dinner and leaving her with our neighbor Rosalie, I got in my car and took a trip to La Push to where my friend Jacob lives. After finding him in his garage we walked back deeper in the woods and lit a joint.

"You look stressed man," he muttered before passing the weed to me.

"Yeah," was all I could answer. In reality I was more than stressed. My dads out of town, my moms in the hospital and my sister doesn't understand anything that's going on. My mom got so bad this recent week Alice wasn't even allowed to visit her. "I don't know whats been going on with me lately, I have to be the strong one but its impossible, I'm breaking down," I continued. My best friend Emmet was always the one I could open up to, but ever since my mom got sick and Jacob and I got close I feel like I cant talk to him about as much. The stress just got to me real quickly and before I knew it Jacob was there with a cigarette and booze and everything seemed better for those few hours.

"Your mom will be alright man," Jacob said, but the worry in his voice was obvious. No one has yet to admit the evident. My phone started to buzz and I pulled it out to see my dads number calling.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Edward where are you?" my dads concerning voice asked.

"Out for a bit," I uttered.

"Well get home, I just landed and I need the car to get to the hospital," he ordered.

"Cant you take a cab?" I asked desperately. If I go home now I'll definitely get busted. I don't want to disappoint my parents but some things are better kept as secrets.

"Your not going to leave Rosalie at home with Alice all night are you?" he asked.

"I'll pay her double when I get home, just give me ten minutes dad, please," I begged.

"Fine I'll take a cab. I called Rose earlier, she said she didn't see you in Physics. Why weren't you in class?" he asked.

"Its a long story dad," I sighed taking the joint back from Jake and taking a long desperate drag.

"You need to get your act together son," he started. I couldn't bare to listen to this conversation again. I didn't want to mention what had happened with Alice, but because I had to go pick her up I had to miss school and surely Carlise was going to figure that out. The more my fathers conversation dragged on the bigger the urge to chuck my phone across the woods grew I just couldn't listen to my dad bitch at me during the one time that I try to escape.

"I got to go dad, tell mom I said hi." I hung up. I took another hit and gave the rest to Jacob.

"Buzz kill," Jake complained

"Its whatever, I cant get smoked up tonight anyway," I said.

"Alright man," Jake said slapping me up and walking my back to my car.

"Thanks for the shit, I'll talk to you," I sighed pulling out of La Push and back into Forks territory. When I got home I walked in to find Rosalie holding Alice in her arms and reading her a story. It was nearly ten thirty so I walked over and asked what was wrong.

"I had a night mere," Alice mumbled sleepily. She reached up for me and I grabbed her into my arms. "Where were you?" she asked.

"I went for a walk," I said kissing her forehead.

"You smell funny," she crinkled her nose.

"Come on back to bed," I said placing her back on the ground and waiting for her to storm up.

"Sorry for the short notice," I smiled at my friend.

"No problem," she said happily, "I love watching her, you know I will help out whenever," she said.

"Yeah," I muttered pulling out my wallet.

"Edward don't worry about it," she said simply.

"No really Rose its fine."

"You can use that money for more useful things, your moms medical bills have to be expensive anyways," she asked. Those simple words made me place my wallet back in my pocket and give her an angry stare. I've grown up with Jasper and Rosalie my whole life. They have always lived next to us, which means they have a soft place in there heart for Esme, and little problems with telling me how things are straight forward. "How is Esme doing?" she asked lightly, placing a single warm hand on my arm.

"Fine," I said shaking her off.

"You have to stop pushing everyone away Edward," she sighed, her voice like silk.

"I'll send her your word," I promised, avoiding her words. Rose nodded.

"Alright. I should leave," she smiled. I gave her a short hug and walked her to the door.

"Oh and Edward?" she said from the porch. "Change your shirt, your getting sloppy."

I ran upstairs, changed my shirt and through on some cologne before checking up on Alice. She was sound asleep in her little pink bed clutching the gray rabbit I had bought her for her second birthday. She still carries it around like its her best friend. I felt a pit in my stomach looking at her tiny body, how will she grow up without a mother? I pushed the thought aside and went straight to my bedroom. I haven't slept in a few days now. It wasn't from caffeine, or drugs or even too much homework. Its because every time I shut my eyes I dream the most terrible things. I'm like a little kid who is afraid of the dark, when I close my eyes the dreams I will have only make me fear the future.

**So this is just the beginning, I just wanted to introduce all the characters and where they stand! I hope you guys like it let me know how you felt! **


	2. Chapter 2

When I woke up the next morning I was surprised to see my father home. He filled Alice and I in on what was going on at the hospital. My mom was doing slightly better but she had to go through another round of chemo. My dad was clearly stressing out because the possibility of surgery still hung around our heads, and its an extremely risky procedure.

"Can Alice see her?" I asked my dad. Carlise sat at the counter with his laptop feverishly typing.

"If she wants to yes, but it wont be a good sight Edward," he warned me. When my dad left for work, I woke up Alice and made sure she was showered and ready to go for when Caren came over. Caren is a friend of my mothers who never married, but loved to babysit Alice. After I had explained to Caren what Alice's routine needs to be I got in my Volvo and drove to school. By sixth period I had had enough of teachers and all of their expectations. I stormed out the back doors where no security guards stood and wonder towards the football fields. Placing a cigarette in my mouth I took a deep inhale and watch as the smoke disappeared into the air, floating off into another dimension.

"Your already bailing on me?" I heard a honey suckle voice call from behind me.

I turned my head and found Bella's petite body walking towards me. Her soft curls were bouncing around her shoulders and all the way down her chest. Rather than looking irritated she had a sly smile on her face, one that gave me a strong sense of deja vu. I look the cigarette out of my mouth and admired her beautiful body as she neared me.

"I wasn't in the mood," I shrugged, playing it off cool.

"For what?" she asked catching up with me and falling in pace with my steps. I gave her a curious side glance and shook my head.

"Teachers, school, complications...life" I chuckled dramatically to myself.

"Life?" she asked sitting down beside me once we had reached the bleachers.

"Yeah," I sighed inhaling my cigarette. Bella watched with hawk eyes as I brought it up to my lips and then let out the smoke.

"What? Do you want one of something?" I asked.

"Bad habit," was all she answered.

"Yeah well I guess I picked up a few bad habits," I muttered.

"I don't buy any of this," Bella said.

"Any of what?" I asked, looking up at the darkening sky.

"This whole distraught bad boy attitude your trying to pull off," she said, leaning back on her palms.

"I'm not trying to pull off any attitude," I defended myself, only because it was true,

"Than what is all of this?" she asked grabbing the cigarette out of my hand. "What are you achieving here?" she mumbled angrily.

"Relaxation," I smirked.

"Your better than this," she shook her head.

"Don't act like you know me," I said with a hard edge. I looked coldly into her brown eyes and quickly looked away when I noticed I had hurt her feelings. With that, she threw my cigarette on the ground and stood up.

"I've know you since we were kids."

"Just because your my best friends little sister, doesn't mean we have to like each other. Don't you have other friends to be with?" I snapped.

"Not really," she sighed, then to my disappear sat back down. "I don't have friends. All the girls here hate me," she said. I rolled my eyes and took out a new cigarette.

"Cry me a river," I said sarcastically. There was a moment of silence before Bella spoke again.

"Hows your mom doing?"

"Didn't you hear what I just said? Were not friends!" I yelled Bella had no right being in my business, and she just took things to a personally level.

"Whatever," she sighed. This time, she stood up for good. She grabbed her bag then walked away from the field. I stayed put where I was and thought about what she had told me. There was something inside of me that felt bad for Bella, but I ignored it and walked back to campus to join my friends in the building. I found Rosalie sitting in the cafeteria with Emmet and joined them.

"Hey," I muttered quietly.

"Whats up?" Jasper one of our other friends asked. He placed a brown paper bag on the table and made himself comfortable.

"Whats going on tonight?" a typical question asked on Fridays.

"Lets just hang low. Can we go to your house?" Rose asked Emmet, who was trapped under his girlfriends wish.

"Sure," he answered.

"Edward are you in?" Rose asked.

"Emmets as in Bella's?" I asked. Bella and Emmet are siblings, and because shes only one year younger she tended to be involved in a lot of our plans. Rosalie nodded at me.

"No thanks," I said.

"Damn whats with you two?" Emmet asked.

"They like each other so much that they actually hate each other," Rose smiled to herself.

"Cut it out Rose," I snapped.

"She wont be home tonight," Emmet promised, knowing what I was thinking.

"Alright, I'm going to head over to the hospital. I'll meet you guys a little later," I decided.

"Shouldn't you wait for school to end? Your already repeating one class, you don't want to get too far behind," Rose said.

"If you were in my position you would understand," I said coldly. They never understood. Everyone expected me to be the one to keep things together, but its nearly impossible to stay on top of taking care of my sister, finishing all of my school work, and getting to practice. They were lying to themselves if they thought that was possible.

"Your right," she muttered. As I left the building and walked to my car I noticed Bella out of the corner of my eye sitting at the outdoor eating section. She was sitting with one other boy I remember his name being Jake. She watched me like a hawk as I left the school, got in my car, and drove off to the hospital.

While on my way to the hospital I took a detour and picked up Alice. She scattered around the house, grabbed her cheap dollar store makeup and a few pictures she had painted for our mother. When she was securely in her car seat we took off. It only took us a few minutes for Alices questioning to begin.

"Does mom know where coming?"

"No, were surprising her," I explained.

"How does she look?" she asked lightly.

"Sick," was all I could say at first, but I decided I needed to give her some kind of warning. "Shes fragile Alice, like a little baby. We have to wait for the medicine to kick in before she will look like she did before." I didn't want to plant the idea that Esme was going to be okay in Alice's head, because I didn't know if that was true. I tried hinting at it a few times but it broke my heat to even think about Alice's reactions.

"I think shes beautiful no matter what," she responded.

"Good," I smiled at her from the review mirror. The drive to the hospital was quick and once we arrived at the huge building me hoped out of the car and climbed four flights of stairs. My mother lay in a cold yet stuffy room with a couch jammed into the corner and small TV plastered on the wall. This was the same room she has been in for a few months now.

"Edward," she smiled. Her lips were cracked and white, but they still managed to give me a bright smile. "Did you come alone?" she asked slowly. Her skin was cold when I kissed her cheek, and when I stepped back I saw the pale glow it illuminated. I ignored how much it bothered me that my mothers once beautiful, vibrant face, was gone and I pulled up a chair to sit besides her. She was wearing the same blue robes as before, and a white bandana which Alice had decorated with markers was wrapped around her bald head. Her eyes watched me carefully so I made sure not to falter my emotions.

"I brought a visitor," I smiled at her. Alice opened the door now and came running in with a huge smile on her face.

"My baby," Esme grinned. Alice giggled with delight, jumped up on the bed and wrapped her arms around my mothers fragile body. They quickly snuggled up together and things fell into normal pace. I was happy to see Alice wasn't too bothered by Esmes appearance. When Alice was done painting my mothers toes and filling her in on all the new drama, Esme turned her head to face me.

"I'm glad you came. How are you?" she asked. I shook my head at my mother. Here she lay sick as ever and she was asking me how I was doing. Alice had climbed off her lap and was finding tape to hangup her freshly drawn pictures.

"I'm fine," I muttered, not wanting to worry her.

"Don't lie to me baby, whats wrong?" she asked. I took a deep breath to calm my nerves.

"Its dumb," I muttered.

"Of course its not," she whispered. Her breathing was noisy and I could feel the pain she felt just talking to me.

"I just miss you. Its not the same at home without you," I said. I didn't bother to add that I was scared to loose her, she already knew that.

"I miss being home," she admitted. "But I'm strong, I'll be home in no time," she smiled. I looked away from her hopeful face and ran my fingers through my hair angrily. "Hey, why aren't you guys in school?"

"Your a little more important," I insisted.

"Edward Cullen you better stay in school. No matter how sick I get you need an education. You wont be able to live off of your fathers money forever," she said.

"Can we not have this conversation right now?" I asked desperately. She didn't answer me, but her eyes stayed glued on me. "Rose told me to tell you hi," I said to change the subject. Esmes lips curved up in a barely there smile.

"What a sweet girl, how are your friends?" she asked. Her breathing was becoming heavier and I knew this small conversation was draining her.

"Good," I said. "We should go," I told me mom, I felt uncomfortable knowing I was the one causing her all of this pain.

"There good people Edward, remember to never loose sight of those who are always there for you." Just than Alice barged in with the tape, and she quickly plastered the paintings onto of the wall across from Esme.

"Now you can always see them!" she smiled.

"Perfect," Esme wheezed.

"Say goodbye to mom," I ordered Alice. She walked over and gave Esme a kiss.

"Love you honey bee," my mom told Alice. She squeezed her hand than stepped aside. My mom tried sitting upright to give me a hug, but she struggled to heave herself up those few inches. I gently pushed her back on the bed and gave her a reassuring smile.

"You don't need to do that for me," I told her. She gave me a small, discouraged smile and I bent over so she could kiss my cheek.

"I love you," she said firmly. Unfortunately her love cant save us both. By the time I had taken Alice home and headed over to Emmets my hands were shaking. I have had a few anxiety attacks before, but this felt worse. My breathing came fast and my vision blurred. All I could do was pull over and try not to panic anymore than I already was. When my breathing was controlled I got out of my car and sat on the hood. I pulled out my phone and sent Jacob a text demanding we meet up later. My response was a phone call from him.

"Whats up?" Jake asked.

"I need to get my mind off things," I said.

"Don't you always?" he chuckled.

"Can we meet up later?" I asked getting to the point, I wasn't in a joking mood.

"Yeah sure. I'm headed to Wild Things, meet me there whenever, we'll head out after that," he suggested. I hung up the phone and took another deep breath. Although I had managed to calm down, my hands still shook rapidly. When I got to Emmets, Jasper had called to bail and it was just the three of us. We were sitting playing xbox when Emmet spoke.

"Coach has been trying to get a hold of you, hes pissed!" Emmet boomed. The mention of football made me groan.

"Cant he take the clue that I'm not into the whole football thing right now," I sighed, taking a beer out from his fridge.

"We need you or else we wont make sectionals. Interested or not coach will drag you out there," Emmet laughed.

"Why cant you take my spot?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"I would love to play quarter back! But as you know I suck, coach benched me today because he said I was being too aggressive. How can you be too aggressive in football?" he asked. I laughed and shook him off.

"He'll come around," I assured Emmet, taking a sip of the beer.

"I don't know man," Emmet grumbled.

"Your coach is an ass, I love it when your aggressive," Rose practically purred at Emmet. Emmet winked at her, caught her in his arms and pushed her down on the couch, attacking her with his lips. When they didn't break apart I rolled my eyes and stood up.

"That is my cue to leave," I said.

"Sorry Ed," Rose smiled, "But we haven't had sex in like a week and your killing it."

"Rose," Emmet hushed her.

"Its fine!" I laughed, "I wouldn't want to get in the way of your sexual needs. I'll go to Jake's," I said.

"Bye Edward!" Rose said, urging me to leave faster. I walked out of the small living room and headed for the door way. When I was about to walk out the door I heard a voice behind me.

"Where are you going?" Bella asked. She look comfy and cute with a pair of cotton shorts on and a thin tank top. Emmet lied to me, I'm not surprised.

"Jacobs," I said quickly, grabbing my coat.

"Can I come?" she surprised me by asking. I cocked my head slightly and gave her a wary look.

"No."

"Why not?" she asked. _If my best friends little yet sexy sister is aroundwhen I get drunk who knows what will happen. _

"Because your not friends with Jacob," I lied.

"Yeah I am!" she cried. "Come on whats the big deal, let me come with you," she demanded.

"I don't want to be here when they have sex," she pleaded with me.

"Take Bella with you!" I heard Emmet say in a winded voice.

"Are you serious?" I called back, but I got no answer. Finally, I sighed in defeat. "Your so stubborn."

"Give me a minute to change," she smiled victoriously at me. I rolled my eyes and yelled back to Emmet,

"You owe me!"

"Whatever, just don't bang my sister," he called. I inwardly groan and stormed out to my car.

**Thanks for reading, let me know how you liked the second chapter. So far the story is simple and easy but it will get more intense as I get farther into it! **


	3. Chapter 3

When I was inside and the heat was cranking Bella finally decided to join me. She hopped in wearing a pair of black skinny jeans that enhanced her every curve, and a white tank top with her cleavage bulging out of the top.

"Do I look okay?" she asked. I nodded mesmerized and snapped myself out of the trance before I drooled. Whatever happened to the annoying little kid that I used to harass?

"Fine," I uttered. I flipped on the radio and pulled out of the driveway. The ride to the club didn't take long, but it was poor planning on my part because Bella didn't own a fake Id and she couldn't get in. I had to call Jacob to come outside and meet us.

"Hey man!" Jacob hollered. I smiled at my friend and gave him a bear hug. "Hello Bella. You guys have perfect timing, I guess a shit load of people just showed up at my house so I have to get over there. You guys coming?" he asked. I nodded and walked back to the car with Bella. Once we were inside I drove back down to La Push.

"How do you know Jacob?" I asked Bella curiously.

"We used to date," she said. I thought she was joking at first but when I looked over at her, her face was dead serious. I wonder why Jacob never mentioned it before. The ride was silent until we arrived to Jacobs. The house looked dark and lifeless from the outside, but when we got out of the car you could hear the booming music vibrating as you walked. Inside, the room was thick and foggy with smoke, and the smells coming from around the house told me people were inhaling drugs far worse than marijuana. I glanced sideways at Bella who was silent and still taking it all in.

"This is what you wanted so badly?" I said smugly, even though I wanted to yell I told you so. It was a chaotic mess and I knew that Bella had to feel slightly uncomfortable here.

"It beats sitting at home," she returned. I rolled my eyes and moved my way inside. "Do you want to stay with me?" I asked. Was I supposed to introduce her to people or let her wander around alone. I had never brought people to a party before, I wasn't sure what the customs were.

"I'll manage," she said as if it were obvious, with that she walked off into the house. I watched her leave and took a deep breath. I felt odd leaving her alone, especially because of the sketchy people lurking around but I let it go. I found Jacob and a few guys I recognized from his school sitting by a campfire and decided to join them.

"Wheres Bella?" Jacob asked me when I sat down next to him.

"I let her go off on her own," I answered. Jacob took a blunt from the person on his right and took a hit. The smoke flew up in the dark sky and the fumes bounced in my nose. "How come you never told me you dated her?" I asked causally, but the question had been eating at me.

"Whats there to tell?" he shrugged. He gave me a side glance and I shrugged.

"I don't know, shes my best friends little sister I figured you would have told me," I said. I broke our gaze and directed my stare to the flames of the fire. They licked and snapped around waiting for something to scorch, it was mesmerizing to watch.

"So why is she here with you?" Jacob asked, a suspicious smile playing on his lips. When I didn't answer him he laughed and shoved my shoulder playfully. "I'm kidding man. We dated for a few months but it was nothing serious. She didn't like my ways and the distance kind of sucked so we ended it. Chill out brother, take a hit," he ordered me. I didn't want to give Bella a reason to be upset with me, so I took a weak inhale of the filled cigar and passed it to my left. I worried about where Bella was and who she was with, but I wanted to give her distance. I was acting like a possessive boyfriend but I didn't want anything bad happening.

"Although, I do think it caused quite the scandal at Forks," Jacob went on.

"What do you mean?" I asked quickly.

"I think most of the girls she goes to school with done like her. I have a feeling that's my doing. I'm not looked fondly upon in your town and when people gave her shit she would do her best to defend me. I guess that put her on a bunch of peoples bad lists," Jacob said. I was about to ask him to elaborate when I saw a man stalking towards me, his gaze locked on me. I groaned inwardly when I realized who it was.

"Hey I didn't know you would be here," Cliff said. I used to hangout with Cliff, but once I realized he was in deeper shit than I was with even more dangerous people I ditched that scene. I still haven't payed him back from a deal he made me a month ago not that I had no problem getting the money.

"Yeah it was last minute," I said quietly.

"You have my money?" he asked. I shook my head no.

"If I knew you were coming I would have brought it," I said truthfully, sadly drug dealers don't know how to tell when someones lying, they just assume everyone is lying about everything.

"Its two hundred dollars," he reminded me.

"No problem," I said honestly.

"It better not be one," Cliff challenged me. Instead of arguing, I looked out at the water passed him and watched the waves crash into the shore.

"That's Carlise's son, he wont have any problem getting money," a voice called. I hated it when people assumed I freeload off my parents. Angry with that comment, I walked back inside to find the most unexpected scenario playing out in front of me. Bella was sitting with a few guys who had mischievous smirks on their faces. The last thing I expected to find was Bella with a joint twirled in her fingers, yet that's exactly what I saw. I marched over to her and made her stand up beside me.

"What the hell is this?" I asked.

"Don't be a hypocrite," she laughed. I didn't find it funny.

"This is why I didn't want to bring you!" I shouted at her. Her small body jumped frightened by my outrage, than her face turned to anger.

"I'm not a child Edward," she shouted. "You cant shelter me from reality."

"This isn't reality! You don't need this, you're better than all of these people," I replied.

"And your not?" she challenged, she always had a comeback.

"You have a good future ahead of you," I muttered. My words weren't coming out right, and the harder I tried thinking about what I was trying to say the less sense I was making. "I'm responsible for you, and I say no, Emmet would kill me," I said, taking the joint out from her hand. A bunch of Jacobs friends muttered insults at me. One especially spirited one called out,

"Hey buddy, are you her dad or something?" I ignored the comment and grabbed Bella's arm.

"Come one lets go."

"Whoa, wait a second. Where are you going with my girl?" a cold voice behind me asked. I turned around and found my face parallel to James. James and I have known each other for awhile, and if there's one thing I knew about him it would be to stay clear of him when hes been drinking. He has a track record of getting into fights and waking up in jail completely unaware of what he did.

"I'm responsible for her, I need to get her home," I said lamely.

"Your the last person I would expect to be responsible," he laughed. He took Bella's arm, causing a look of disgust and horror to cross her face. "I've been watching you for awhile," he whispered. Something in me snapped, the way he was treating her made me want to vomit.

"Don't touch her," I said through clenched teeth. My vision blurred slightly, and after my mind tricked me into thinking I was talking to two James, I couldn't tell which one was real.

"Excuse me?" James said, I could smell the beer on his breath. I blinked hard, and pried his finger off of the spot were he was holding Bella.

"Don't touch her," I repeated, my voice never altering once. James stood up straight and stared me down directly in the eyes. Was this really going to happen.

"This fine lady is here for a reason, she doesn't need you to keep her on a leash and babysit," he said coldly. I should have never brought Bella here in the first place. Half angry with myself and half angry with James, I aggressively pushed him aside.

"Lets go," I said to Bella. James, who had lost his balance, looked pissed off and came back at me with full force.

"You little prick," he growled. With that, he punched me in my stomach. The blow winded me for a few seconds and I had to stagger back to gain my balance back. A wicked smile appear on James and he began walking back towards me. His eyes never left mine. I lost my last sliver of patience, grabbed James by his forearm and slammed him into the wall before beating him in the side several times. He pushed me back so he had room to move free from the wall and managed to hit my shoulder, but it was a weak blow. I got my hands around his neck before he could think.

"Edward stop!" Bella yelled. She ran in between us and put a small hand on my chest in attempt to break us up, but my head was foggy and I wasn't done with James. I shoved Bella out of my way, a little too hard I noticed after the fact. Bella fell to the ground and smashed her nose against the side of the couch. I was about to run over and help her when James stepped in my way. I gave James one final blow to the jaw causing him to doubled over in pain. He lay still on the ground until someone came over to inspect him. When it was concluded he wasn't dead I grabbed my hair angrily and realized that was probably the dumbest decision I could have made.

I looked over at Bella and expected to find her scared as hell. Although she did look slightly out of it, I noticed before she even had that she was hurt. Her nose was red and a stream of blood dripped down almost touching her mouth. "Your nose," I muttered, guilt washing over me. Bella hesitantly touched the bridge of her nose and winced. I didn't have time to help her because I had just create a giant mess of chaos. "Come on," I urged Bella. I found her hand, and once our fingers were locked we rushed out to my car. When Bella was securely inside I looked in all the compartments of the car in attempt to find a tissue. Bella's bare hand was still cupped around her nose, and blood was spilling out between her fingers. When it was clear I had no napkins, I took off my sweatshirt, ripped off the sleeve and handed it to her.

"What do you expect me to do with this?" she said. I rolled my eyes and held it up to her nose.

"I can do it myself," she snapped.

"I'm sure you can," I sighed in annoyance. I turned on the car and flew down the road back towards Forks. Bella looked out the window and refused to speak to me, I was the first one to talk.

"I'm so sorry for hurting you Bella," I said in all honesty. Bella gave me a look filled with anger than glanced into the mirror. Her nose wasn't broken, but it wouldn't stop bleeding.

"I was just trying to help!" she said, her voice dripping in choler.

"I know," I muttered angrily. "Should I take you to the hospital?" I asked, I wasn't sure how noses worked.

"I'm fine." she said shortly. I sighed and tried to relax into the seat of my car, we wouldn't be home for a few more minutes. There was a moment of uncomfortable silence before Bella muttered to herself, "Emmets going to kill me, I cant go home."

"I'm taking you home right now," I objected. My responsibility for Bella should have ended hours ago when we first stepped into Jacobs house.

"I cant! I smell like I just burnt down a forest, its all thanks to your friends. Those people are disgusting, why do you hangout with them?"

"One second your all innocent saying you have no friends, so I feel bad for not letting you come to a party, but the next second your being defiant and trying to prove a point. How is this my fault, I warned you I'm in deep with the wrong crowd, I wasn't lying."

"I don't need your pity," she growled.

"Perfect, I'm not going to give you it anymore. Your going home," I said. My body was getting rigid and my breathing started coming intense. If I had an anxiety attack in this car it would be the last thing I did. I tried my best to control myself, but the second my hands started to shake I lost control of the wheel and I had to quickly pull over before I killed us both.

"What are you doing?" Bella demanded. When I didn't answer she glanced at me. It was probably the shaking that made her nervous because her anger was quickly replaced with worry. "Are you okay?"

"Fine," I muttered. My head was spinning and everything I tried locking away out of my mind came rushing at me. My mom and Alice, school, my football scholarship, Emmet being furious at me for what I let happen to Bella. I grasped the handle to the door and managed to get out of the car. The cool air ripped against my skin and I took a deep breathe, immediately calming my scenes.

"Edward?" Bella asked. I stayed silent for a moment, if I talked too soon I worried my voice would come out cracked and unclear. "What just happened?" she asked, her voice quiet and scared.

"Nothing, its just the drugs," I lied. "Come on I'll take you to my house until you get cleaned up," I decided. I now noticed why it was so easy for Bella to get her way. She played off of every emotion until she hit one that affected me most. Luckily my dad wasn't home, so I didn't have to answer a thousand questions about where I was and what I was doing. When we walked inside I immediately wondered where my sister was, but put it off for a second.

"Do you want to shower?" I asked Bella. The house was dark and quiet, it was only the two of us in the huge space.

"Okay," Bella sighed. I led her upstairs to the guest bathroom and told her to wait for me to get her some clothes. When I returned I placed a pair of sweatpants I wore when I was younger, and a tank top that belonged to my mother. The sweatpants would be loose but all of my mothers more comfortable clothes were at the hospital, and I doubt Bella wanted to wear jeans at this time. I waited impatiently for Bella to shower and spent most of the time looking at the clock wondering what Emmet was going to say to me. Finally, the water stopped and a few minutes later Bella came down in the fresh clothes I had given her. The pants were baggy as I suspected but there was nothing I could do about it.

"I cant wear this," she whispered, looking down at the black silk top.

"Its just a tank top," I insisted.

"Still, its your mothers..." she trailed off. I could tell she was uncomfortable.

"Its not like shes dead," I growled. Bella didn't respond. She looked down at the ground, her wet locks covering half her face. "Its fine," I sighed. I took off the clean sweatshirt I had just put on and handed it to her. Without a word she freed herself of Esme's tank top, slipped on the sweatshirt and met my eyes.

"Thanks," she said.

"I'll take you home," was my response. I walked into the living room to grab my keys, only to find Alice sitting on the couch totally passed out with the TV on. I had forgot to check on her when I came home and no one was home watching her. I instantly wondered why my dad would leave her home alone at two o'clock in the morning. My movement made her stir, and when she realized it was me standing in front of her she perked up.

"What are you doing?" I demanded.

"Dad told me to stay here and lock the doors. Rose wasn't home so I'm here by my self," she said.

"Where did he go?" I asked. Alice got up and followed me back into the kitchen to where Bella was standing.

"Work, he was called in for an emergency," Alice said simply. Her head peeked around me and peered nosily at Bella. "Hello," she smiled.

"Hey there," Bella said in a friendly tone.

"Whats wrong with your nose?" Alice asked, she moved closer to Bella and tried getting a better look at her face. When I looked closer at Bella I could see her nose was slightly bruised and a little swollen. I felt guilty that it was so noticeable, now everyone was going to think I abused her.

"Edward punched me," Bella shrugged casually, I winced at how bad those words sounded and felt the need to add 'on accident' at the end of her sentence. Alice's head whipped around to glare at me.

"You finally make a friend and you hit her?" Alice cried. I rolled my eyes, picked up her sixty pound body, and placed her on the stairs.

"Go to bed," I demanded. Alice waved at Bella and ran up the stairs giggling. Bella and I walked to the car and drove quickly back to her house. I debated whether or not I wanted to come inside, but I didn't want Bella to get yelled at for being home late so I escorted her inside. Once we walked through the door and entered the kitchen Emmet appeared from the living room.

"I've been trying to call you," he said. He took a sigh of relief when he saw Bella behind me. I looked down at my phones black screen and shrugged.

"My phone died," I said.

"I left mine here," Bella chirped. Emmet looked ticked but he didn't say anything. Rose walked in wearing one of Emmets baggy shirts and her underwear She smiled at Bella and I than hopped up on the counter.

"What took you guys so long?" she said causally, but she didn't hide the smile on her face.

"And what happened to your face," Emmet said, walking closer to inspect Bella's nose. I was about to confess what happened when Bella spoke before me.

"It was a misunderstanding, I got bumped in my nose and Edward took me to his house to clean up. We didn't want to interrupt you guys," she smiled.

"Interrupt what?" Emmet said defensively. I shook my head and headed towards the door, I had had enough for one night, I just wanted to get home. "Whatever, thanks for taking my sister out Edward," Emmet thanked me. If only he knew half of what happened, I don't think he would be speaking to me now. I nodded at him and walked out to my car. Suddenly the front door opened again and Bella appeared in the passage way.

"Edward!" she called. When I turned around to face her she went on, "Thanks," she smiled.

"No problem," I grinned back. She gave me a small wave and watched as I got in my car and drove away. When I looked back she was still standing in the doorway watching my car disappear.

**Thanks for reading, I would love you hear your opinion and suggestions so please tell me how you feel! More to come!**


	4. Chapter 4

The red and blue lights shined through my review mirror and a quick siren burst rang in the sky. I groaned and seriously considered out driving the cops, but that would get me in more trouble than I was already in. A man walked up to the window and gave it a swift and loud knock. To my dismay, it was Charlie standing on the other side of my car. "How can I help you sir?" I asked politely.

"Where do I start? Your vehicle reeks of marijuana, and your out past the teenage curfew. We need to talk," he said.

"To talk?" I muttered in confusion.

"I would have come to your house if I didn't see you on the road. Can you step out of the car?" Charlie asked.

"Is this some trick?" I asked sarcastically even though some part of me actually wondered that.

"Your clearly under the influence of illegal substances, if you don't want to cooperate I can take you into the station," he said aggressively.

"Yes sir," I muttered angrily. I stepped out of my car and leaned against the drivers door. The air was cold and frigid so I crossed my arms around my chest to keep warm in my t-shirt. Bella never gave me my sweatshirt back, not that I wanted it after it was ripped and stained with blood.

"What were you doing with my daughter?" Charlie asked.

"Is this what your pulling me over for? I'm pretty sure this is an illegal interrogation."

"I'll ask you one more time, what were you doing with my daughter?"

"I wasn't doing anything with your daughter," I lied.

"Son I don't care how long I've know you, or how close I am with your family. You're a troubled kid who is clearly making some bad decisions and I'm trying to keep my children on the right track. I've been watching you for awhile and I saw you dropping Bella off at my house," he said.

"So you're stalking me now? You know I could press charges," I said.

"Okay smart ass lets do this your way," Charlie growled. He grabbed my arms, twisted them so they lay uncomfortably on my back and than smashed me against my car. "Is this what its going to take for you to talk. Huh?" he asked while placing metal handcuffs on my skin. The sharp edges cut against my skin, slicing open raw flesh.

"Alright alright," I sighed in defeat. If Carlise had to pick me up from the downtown jail I would never see the day of light again Charlie stepped back hesitantly and I turned back to face him. "I was with Emmet for a few hours and when I was about to leave Bella asked if she could hangout with me. I think Emmet wanted to be alone so he encouraged me to take her. If were any good at stalking you would know that nothing bad happened. You need to relax Charlie," I said.

"Its officer, Edward," he said. He scratched his beard and let out a sigh in confusion. He grabbed my shoulder, turned me back around and un-cuffed my hands. "The next time I see you looking this fucked up I'm bringing you into the station you hear me?" Charlie asked.

"Sure," I muttered.

"Get out of here before I arrest you." I may have gotten off easy with Charlie, but the fact that hes Emmet and Bella's father doesn't make what happened very good. If Bella found out Charlie was about to arrest me who knows what she would think. I spent all of Saturday laying in bed and not talking to anyone, and than all of Sunday working on my motorcycle. When it was finally running I sighed in relief and than went back to laying my bed and not talking to anyone. Monday morning was a rude awakening. I woke up at six thirty to find my dad gone. Today was Alice's first day back at school since her suspension and we had to make a lunch and organize all of her papers.

"Have a good day at school," I called to Alice. She hopped off my motorcycle and than ran into the building carrying her oversized purple backpack. Some part of me worried about how she would do today, but I pushed it aside and got to school on time, something I hadn't done since the beginning of the year. I sat down next to Emmet who was scrambling to do his overdue math homework.

"Whats up?" I asked.

"Coach is going to kick me off of the team if I don't pass math," he growled. I rolled my eyes. I hadn't been to a single practice in a month and still refused to answer any of coaches calls. I'm sure if I should up at a game he would still start me. It wasn't like I was good, its just that Forks is a small school with little athletic ability, so I made everyone else took even worse than they are.

"So pass," I shrugged. Emmet lifted up his head for just enough time to scowl at me, than he was back to work .

"I was up all last night because my dad was screaming at Bella, and it was near impossible to finish any work," Emmet complained.

"What happened to Bella?" I asked a little too interested.

"She went behind my dads back and got her belly button pierced. She looks like a little tramp but she refuses to take it out and my dad freaked. You know how the strict bastard is. This is what happens when girls grow up without moms, they get all rebellious and crazy," he muttered. That one hit home. I felt a nervous pain go through my body when I though about Alice not having a mom for support. Would I be enough? Emmet realized what he said quickly and cursed himself. "Shit Edward I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that," he rambled.

"Its fine," I shook him off. Emmet and Bella's mom wasn't dead, but she rarely had contact with them. She lived out in Arizona and only sent cards on their birthdays. Shes living with some younger guy that plays baseball all around the world. I did my best to get through the day and managed to pay attention in almost all of my classes. Although the only thing I learned was that there is no way I'm passing this year, it felt good to keep my mind away from home. That is until Bella decided to remind me of it. I walked up to Mr. Simons only to find a note on the door saying the class would be meeting in the library for the next week. After convincing myself not to ditch, I wonder downstairs to where the library was located.

Our schools library was huge and jam packed with rows of books. There were back rooms and smaller sections where books sat on the ground stacked in unorganized bunches, it was a book lovers glory. I found Bella sitting in between two shelves in the 'diagnosis' section. Her back was up against one shelf, nose in a book. I cleared my throat and sat down opposite of her.

"Hey," I said.

"I thought you would have ditched," she smiled.

"I just love Mr. Simons and this class so much," I muttered sarcastically.

"How is your mom doing?" she said. When I didn't answer she looked down at her book and stayed quiet. I looked at the book in my lap and tried to focus on the now blurring lines. She finally decided to change the subject after a few minutes of silence, and me not answering. "What happened to your wrists," Bella asked. I was glad she put an end to all of this awkward silence but the topic made me feel even more uncomfortable. Did she know I got in trouble with her dad?

"Umm I got a cut," I muttered, looking away from her intimidating gaze.

"A cut?" she asked. She never stopped invading my privacy.

"Yes Bella," I said coldly. "Can we just work on this project?" I asked.

"Okay," she said. Her eyes scanned the paper until she found something worthy enough for our project. After asking Mr. Simons what our project task was seriously, he said he was being dead ass and our assignment would be on sleep insomnia.

"Alright I found one. 'Sleep insomnia also know as the fear or lack of sleep eventually has waring affects on your body. It increases stress levels and studies show that eighty five percent of all diagnosed persons with insomnia have increase in rage, frequent melt downs or anxiety attacks and a slower, weaker immune system.'" I listened to her voice sound like silk as she read from the book, it was almost trance like. She looked up at me and it was as if a light bulb lit up above her head.

"What?" I asked.

"Did you just hear what I said?" she asked. I nodded even though I had zoned off a little bit. "Edward, your name should be under the definition of insomnia."

"I sleep," I said, but my voice wasn't strong, every part of me felt mentally and physically worn out.

"Emmet told me when you cant sleep you leave the house and end up chain smoking all night." _Thanks Emmet_, I thought. "And you always come to school smelling like cigarettes, so that means you haven't been sleeping. You also never eat, I mean when was the last time you had lunch? And!" she continued excitedly, it was like she was unfolding a mystery. "You have panic attacks, which the book just said occurs frequently with insomnia," she said the last part more quiet.

"I do not," I denied.

"Yes you do, you had one on Friday. You blamed it on the weed but I googled it when I got home. Marijuana cant give you that affect unless it was laced," she said.

"Did you have to google the definition of laced too?" I shot at her.

"You're avoiding my point," she huffed.

"I wasn't aware you were so determined on diagnosing me with a problem," I said, but my mind wasn't in this conversation. I kept thinking back about my mother and only half my brain was paying attention to Bella. It was like babysitting a little kid that never stopped crying.

"I wasn't, I guess it just stumbled upon me," she mused.

"Do you want to know one of my biggest pet peeves?" I asked, leaning in closer to Bella. Our faces were only inches away from touching as she whispered back to me,

"I have a feeling I don't want to know."

"Its when people like you, all perfect and put together, try and figure out whats 'wrong' with me. Like I have a disease or something and you need to change me. Did you ever once think I don't want to change, did you ever once think that I don't have a problem, that this is just the way I am?"

"I'm not trying to change you," she argued. "And I'm not perfect."

"You're just saying that. All girls like you say that. You sit and talk about how ugly you are or how dumb you feel, even how fat you look. But in reality you're none of those things. You know you're perfect but for some reason you need someone to tell you it so you feel important," I said.

"That's offensive," she scolded me.

"But its true," I added. Bella didn't deny it.

"I don't think any of that. Sure I know I'm not fat and obviously I'm not dumb. And I've never once looked in the mirror and thought I needed someone to call me attractive to think it. I'm just not likeable. You know yourself that no one likes me," she said. I thought back to when Jacob was explaining to me what happened to their relationship. _I'm not looked fondly upon in your town and when people gave her shit she would do her best to defend me. I guess that put her on a bunch of peoples bad lists. _

"Who cares about what everyone thinks," I said. "I stopped caring a long time ago. Stupid things like peoples opinions don't matter when you have bigger things to worry about."

"You don't care what people thing about you? You don't care everyone is scared of you? They look at you like you're a time bomb, like you're going to explode," she said.

"Maybe I am," I muttered. Bella eyes the clock above her and sighed.

She sat looking blankly at her notebook. "We got nothing done. You should come over today and we can finish the work," she offered.

"Is your dad working today?" I asked. After I said it I realized how obviously nervous I sounded but luckily Bella didn't seem to notice.

"No he has off,why?"

"No reason. My dads gone, come over to my house instead," I offered. A small part in Bella's face lit up and she nodded happily. I ditched last period and went out to the courtyard to light a cigarette. Nearly three minutes into my relaxation time Bella came trotting out besides me and took a seat on the bench.

"Ready?" she asked.

"You want to ditch?" I asked surprised. She rolled her eyes and grabbed my hand to hurry me out of the school. I nodded and looked around the courtyard to make sure no one was looking. News traveled fast in this school and I don't want people telling Emmet I was cutting class early with Bella. I don't think Emmet would appreciate the fact that I'm hanging out with his little sister and purposely hiding it from him. I led Bella to the parking lot where my newly fixed motorcycle sat. "Don't you have a car?" she asked nervously when I stopped in front of it.

"You scared of a little adventure?" I challenged her. The only way to get Bella to do something she opposed of was to make her think I was going to think lesser of her. As soon as I threw a challenge her way she was going to jump on it to prove me wrong. Like I expected, Bella grabbed the black helmet out of my hand and put it over the mess of hair on her head. I swung my leg over the seat and waited for Bella to timidly hop on. She held her leather messenger bag as a barrier in between our bodies. "Hold on tight," I ordered. Her small hands slipped around my chest and clung to my sides so hard her knuckles turned white. I roared the engine, gave it some gas, and we were off.

When Bella and I arrived and home and I collected my helmet Bella's hair looked like a beautiful mess. The oxymoron described her perfectly. It looked like she had just rolled out of bed and forgotten a hair brush, but with her long curls it suited her. I tossed the heap of plastic on the ground and pulled out another cigarette. I lit the cigarette and blew out a few puffs of smoke before walking inside. The cancer stick was still lit and hanging out of my mouth when I got inside and met Alice. "Edward!" Alice called.

"Hey there doll," I smiled at her. "How was your first day back?"

"It would be better if you weren't smoking," she scowled.

"Whats with the attitude?" I asked her. .

"I thought you said you quit smoking," she scowled at me.

"I did," I said truthfully to her. "For awhile."

"Well you should stop again. Cigarettes kill people," she said.

"Cut it out, I have company," I said. Alice looked at Bella for a few uncomfortable seconds than looked away.

"Are you the one he punched?" she asked. Bella was about to open her mouth and speak when I cut her off. Is this the beginning of the rebellion girls go through when there mom isn't around?

"Go to your room Alice, you're being rude!" Alice stormed down the hallway to the sun room and slammed the door shut. "Anyways... Are you hungry?" I asked. Bella, who was still smiling at Alice's outburst, shook her head no.

"If Alice is so against smoking you should quit," she said.

"There you go again, trying to change me." Bella rolled her eyes and gave a huff of defeat.

"Alright lets go," I smiled. I led her upstairs and made an abrupt left to where my room lays. It was nothing special. The walls were a dark navy but my room was so musky and untidy that it looked a lot darker. The blinds were all yanked shut and a few empty cans lay across the windowsill.

We were both standing on the outside looking in when she said sarcastically, "Nice place."

"I don't clean often," I shrugged. I placed my cigarette on the side table and picked up the pile of clothes at the head of my bed. I threw them out in the hall than sat down on the large matress. Bella followed my lead and rested all of our books in between us. I picked up the cigarette, gave it one last inhale and than threw it in the trash. "So. Where were we?" I asked.

"I have some good ideas," Bella said while making herself at home. "For our experimental section lets actually test out the theory of insomnia causing stress and immune weakness. We'll spend as many nights as we can not sleeping and have each other write about how the others moods, appetite and all of that is affected. It will be fun," she smiled.

"That would suck," I groaned.

"Are you scared of a little adventure?" she whispered, repeating my exact words from earlier. Her soft voice was teasing me, I couldn't help but smile and shake my head at her. Why was I enjoying this so much?

"Fine," I whispered. I leaned in closer to Bella and stuck out my hand. She slid her small, freshly painted hand into my grasp and shook it. When the promise was locked her hand still sat inside mine her chocolate eyes bore into mine for a few lingering seconds. She licked her bright red lips and leaned in closer to me.

"The whole town may look at you like a time bomb, but I don't. I don't intend on being careful with you, I don't think you'll explode Edward." Her soft voice sent chills down my back. I couldn't explain why I was reacting like this to her. Shes my best friends little sister, I shouldn't be getting into this mess, but the closer her lips came to mine the deeper into the trance I fell. Bella's eyes watched my hand as I slid it up her arm and rested it on her neck. She removed her stare and caught my gaze again.

"Everyone keeps telling me to stay away from you," she whispered. I rested my head against her forehead and breathed in her sweet scent.

"Maybe you should," I whispered back.

"I don't want to stop feeling alive," she muttered, pulling our foreheads apart. She shut her eyes and waited patiently for me to make the next move. It was good to know I had some control over what was happening, but I've never been good with power, I always take advantage of it. I was about to give in and meet her lips when the phone in my pocket started ringing. Bella tore open her brown eyes and looked at me with a sly smile on her face.

"You can take that," she sighed. After groaning and opening my phone I threw it back on the bed. My dads pointless check-ins just ruined my moment. Yet at the same time, maybe this was a greater force helping me out of a bad situation. Should I be thankful?

"Its my dad," I said. The phone stopped ringing for a half a second before it began again, the screen showed the number of my dads cell once more. Finally when I realized he wasn't going to stop calling I picked up the phone.

"What are you doing? Why aren't you answering my calls?" Carlise began before I could even say hello.

"Homework," was my only response.

"Well stop doing it. I need you to get to the hospital. Now. Its your mother." I closed the phone and sat in silence for a few seconds. Finally, I looked up at Bella and shrugged.

"Do you like hospitals?"

**Well, it took a while but there it is! I have most of the next chapter written so it will be posted shortly. I actually had to do insomnia as a biology report on the stability of homeostasis. My friend and I ended up not sleeping for two days and it was the most terrible experience ever! Please! Let me know how I'm doing, I haven't written in forever and I need some feedback! Thanks for reading. **


	5. Chapter 5

Bella of course was up to go to the hospital. Every once in awhile she made little jokes so I would stop being so stressed. As much as I told her she was being annoying, they helped me keep myself together. "I need to go to the hospital," I told Alice once Bella and I were downstairs. I quickly gathered up a few of Alice's stuff included her stuffed bunny she couldn't sleep without. "Come on were going to Roses," I decided. Although it was Roses 'beloved' alone time when Emmet was at practice, I was pretty sure she would take Alice for me. When we had driven across the street to her house, my prediction was right. I walked in without knocking holding onto Alice's hand. I was still trying to convince her that our mom was going to be okay. Bella was standing by my side holding Alice's toys and backpack with her pajamas in case we were going to be late. Rose came walking down the stairs in a pair of stretch pants and one of Emmets old baggy shirts.

"Hey there princess," she said to Rose. When she saw Bella standing by my side she tried to hide a know it all smile, but it was too obvious. Hopefully Bella didn't understand. I gave Rose a glare but it didn't stop her from opening her mouth. She picked up Alice in her arms and said, "Hey Bella, I didn't know you and Edward hangout."

"And neither does Emmet," she said nervously. We should have been more careful, I'm sure this is the first thing Rosalie would say to Emmet.

"We don't hangout, were just doing a project together," I jumped in. That earned me two disapproving looks, one from Bella and one from Rose.

"I wont say anything," she lied.

"I was worried you were going to be asleep," I admitted to her. "I know how much you love your after school beauty rest," I said sarcastically.

"I was actually just about to paint my toes! Alice can help me," she winked at my little sister. I had come to pick up my sister plenty of times and found the two of them snuggled up in Roses giant king sized bed fast asleep. The picture would have been adorable, Alice always talks about how Rose is like her big sister.

"Thank you," I said sincerely to Rose. We might act like we hate each other but its all an act. Rose has helped our family out so much this year, there wont ever be a way to repay her. "Bella can you put Alice's stuff in the living room real quick?" I asked. Bella gave me a suspicious look but obliged my order. With Alice and her gone I leaned in quickly to Rose.

"Whats up?" she whispered.

"Charlie pulled me over last night. Long story short he wasn't trying to catch up . He started interrogating me about Bella and than said if he ever finds me on the streets again hes going to arrest me," I said quickly. My eyes jolted to the living room to make sure Bella wasn't listening.

"What?! He cant arrest you without a reason," she said.

"He said he would for drug use." Rose sighed and looked disapprovingly at me.

"Well that's not for no reason!" she snapped. "What does he know about you and Bella?" she whispered.

"Nothing other than I was dropping her off at home at one in the morning. That doesn't look good! But if he finds out anything else hes going to send me to jail just because he can. Please help me out," I begged.

"Fine. I'll give Emmet a few weeks but if he still doesn't know whats going on by than I'm telling him!" she said.

"Nothings going on!" I hissed. Before Rose could reply Bella walked back into the room talking quietly talking to Alice. She caught us snapping apart and from the look on her face she knew we were talking about her. Rose gave her a obviously guilty smile than fled from the scene.

"Okay! Is there anything else I can do?" she asked, sincere concern written on her face.

"Just keep her safe," I said. Rose nodded and walked us out to the door. When Bella and I were inside the car she gave me an angry glare and flipped on the radio.

"You guys suck," she complained.

"I was taking care of things. Just tying up some loose ends," I defended myself.

"Is she going to tell Emmet?" she asked.

"Tell Emmet what?" I said, my voice obviously displaying my annoyance. "Nothings going on."

"Only Because your phone rang," she said. My body went rigid with anger. I ignored her comment and turned up her crappy choice of music. Bella stayed silent. She stuck her hand out of the window and moved it up and down like an airplane in the sky. She stayed like that until we got to the hospital. The huge building which was illuminated by surrounding street lights looked eerie. It brought me a strong feeling of dread to get out of my car and walk up to the doors knowing I wasn't going to find good news inside. We got on the elevator and went to floor three, a routine I had done too many times. Despite the fact that Bella hadn't spoken to me in a few minutes she glanced up and gave me a reassuring glance. When we walked out Carlise was sitting in the waiting room typing on a laptop. When he noticed me he got up and greeted me at the front table.

"Hello son," he said, ignoring Bella's existence altogether.

"Whats happening?" I asked my father. He had a full suit on signaling he hadn't been home from his trip.

"The doctors couldn't wait any longer. There operating on Esme at this moment. They're performing a Hysterectomy," Carlise said.

"What is that?" I asked. Whatever it was it sounded bad.

"There removing her uterus. If they would have kept your mothers womb in for any longer the cancer would have spread. There is already a place were the doctors detected it might have gone to. They needed to eliminate the source all together," he said.

"She will live though right? The surgery wont kill her?" I asked nervously, not knowing if I actually wanted the answer to that question.

"We would never say that there couldn't be an accident because as you know its a possibility. But this procedure is not high on the risk spectrum. Women can live a healthy life without there uterus, its a common procedure. It just depends on where the cancer has traveled too." I hated how professional he sounded, it brought me no comfort at all. In a time like this all I wanted was my father to reassure me and tell me everything will be okay, but instead he got straight to the point and didn't offer a shoulder.

"Okay," I whispered. I didn't know what else to say. Bella slid her palm inside mine and gave my hand a slight squeeze. Her presence was calming but it still didn't stop my brain from swarming with 'what if' scenarios.

"The only reason there making this such an emergency is because they just got the results back and the amount of radiation needed to kill her cancer increased. Her body isn't strong enough to be doing these procedures for much longer, they need to operate immediately." He more he talked the more frustrated I got so I finally took a seat in the small waiting room and allowed Bella to sit down next to me. I placed my head down in my hands and started tapping my foot. "Where is your sister?"

"With Rose," I answered.

"That was rude to intrude on her like that," he said. My head shot up just in time to meet his disapproving glare.

"Leaving her at home alone isn't any better dad," I growled. That was the end of our conversation. After declaring he needed some air, Carlise left the building leaving Bella and I sitting in silence. When she noticed my irrational tapping she placed her hand on my thigh and gave me a comforting glance.

"Everything will be okay," she said.

"I just wish he would have some empathy. Being a doctor ruined him," I sighed, looking off away from her.

"What do you mean?" she engaged.

"He sees it from the doctors point of view. He sees logistic and facts, he doesn't realize that some people just need the comfort." I realized I was starting to sound whinny like a sob story so I shut up.

"That's why I'm here right?" Bella smiled. When I didn't answer she came up with another option quickly. "Lets just go out, forget about all of this," Bella decided.

"Out?" I asked. By out does she mean out of the hospital, or out of town, because either one I would be totally fine with.

"Yeah. There's a small pub down the road from here. You haven't eaten yet, we can get dinner and just talk about nothing. It will get things off your mind. Her surgery wont be done for a few more hours anyways." I didn't need much convincing to accept her idea.

"Alright," I decided. She grinned and grabbed my hand leading me out of the building. On our way out I spotted my dad leaning against the building. His head was back, eyes shut tight. For a second I felt sorry for him, than I remembered all of the neglect and cold shoulders I had gotten this past week and those feelings vanished. Without saying goodbye we turned in the opposite direction and got in my car. The small bar was only a few streets over on the outskirts of Seattle. It was small, and only a few people occupied the place. How many people went to a bar on a Monday anyways? We spread ourselves out in the back next to where a small band was playing. "What do you think?" Bella asked.

"About the bar? Its nice," I admitted. She grinned and pointed to a small sign hanging above my head. In bold letters it read 'Smoke Zone.' A picture of two teenagers lighting up was drawn next to it. I grinned but didn't pull out the pack of cigarettes. I just wasn't in the mood. When the waiter came over he took our order.

"I'll take a Corona," Bella smiled. The guy gave her suspicious glance but didn't question her. I looked amazed at how easily he let that one go. When I was sixteen and I wanted to go get a drink we had to pay thirty dollars for a fake id that usually came out looking like crap.

"Coke is okay," I said. "Beer on a Monday?" I asked once the waitor left. Bella nodded slyly.

"They never check id here, when your sixteen you have to take advantage of that." When our waiter returned with the drinks Bella lifted her beer in the air and proposed a toast.

"Screw school and hospitals. Forget about your fucked up family and I'll forget about mine. This is better," she decided. I agreed, we clunk our glasses and she gulped down the drink.

"So why is your family fucked up?" I asked Bella, intruded as to what she would say. She shrugged her shoulders and took another sip of the beer. It hadn't crossed my mind until now that Bella probably ways a hundred pounds and beer would get her drunk. I kept a mental note to watch how much she drinks. I don't need Charlie to give me another reason to send me to jail.

"My mom hates me, my dad doesn't trust me and Emmet, no offense because I know hes your best friend, is a horny, and nosy asshole. He ignored me for Rose and expects me to trust him with everything," she said. "But who cares."

"I care," I told her. She locked eyes with me for a few seconds than dropped them to the table. She took a hold of the bottle and took another drink of it.

She picked up the beer which was almost half gone and finished it off in a few gulps. Neither of us spoke, I just sat there staring into her deep brown eyes, and she sat across from me staring into mine. It wasn't until the waiter came over and asked us what we were eating did we break gaze.

"One fudge volcano cake," Bella answered confidently.

With two forks, one plate, and a giant piece of cake in front of the two of us I had Esme almost completely out of my mind. When the whole think was eaten and plate was practically licked clean Bella decided she had to get home before Emmet arrived.

When we got back to Forks, I was play car and just wait to make sure Bella got in safely. That never happened though and I ended up walking her to the door, which than led to me walking her inside her house to where I was presently. The house was dark showing us that Emmet hadn't arrived yet. It was pure silence except for the rhythm of our breathing.

"Do you want to hear a story?" she whispered randomly to me. Her voice was warm and inviting making me answer yes.

"There was this one time when I was at a party with Jacob. It was when we first started dating and I didn't know any of his friends so it was really uncomfortable. Jacob told me he had to go do something so he left me alone and I was just walking around trying to find someone I knew. And I did find someone. You. But you didn't see me. You were with the girl from our school Lauren. I wasn't angry because I was jealous, I was angry because I hate Lauren. She was so awful to me these past two years, I just felt like she didn't deserve you. When Jacob returned and saw me staring at you he said youve been acting out a lot lately. You were partying and drinking, and smoking and 'fucking' random girls. He said it was all a cry for help, but that he was the only one that saw it as that. Once he told me that I think I understood you a little better. I mean we barely talked but I understood why people were taking advantage of you like that. They saw you in your weakest times, your mother was just diagnosed and your dad wasn't living at home with you. They all jumped at the opportunity to have some fun not caring that somewhere inside you were hurting. They didn't see it was a cry for help, or a signal that you were swerving downhill. They just saw it as a game. I knew you were going to get hurt, and I felt so bad. I don't know why, I just did." Her voice was smooth and even, it left me in a trance. There was a long silence.

"You always see the good in me, why is that?" I asked taking a hesitant step closer to her. I tried to remember how close our bodies were, and resisted the urge to making that little space in between us disappear.

"Because its there. You might not express it, but its still there. I know it is." Bella whispered. Her words never once left my mind. _ They didn't see it was a cry for help, or a signal that you were swerving downhill. They just saw it as a game. _Bella might be the only person that's ever openly understood me, and it only drew me closer to her. We were still hovering in the doorway when I leaned my body against her, trapping her against the wall. Her eye lids fluttered slightly and through the darkness in the room I could see her shutting them ever so slightly. I pushed all doubts and thoughts out of my head and gave up. I pressed my mouth against hers and breathed in her sweet scent. Her lips were soft and wet, I could taste the bitter edge of her beer still lingering on them. She moaned softly encouraging me to open my mouth and depend the kiss. Her hands cupped my biceps and her tongue met mine in a slippery bliss against each other. We stayed like that for awhile, our bodies pressed against each other while our tongues battled for dominance. "Edward," she whispered to me. "You can take me upstairs if you want," she whispered sincerely. My eyes opened in shock. I was about to question her intentions when a pair of feet came running down the stairs and Emmets booming voice shouted at me.

"What the hell is going on?" He flipped on the lights in the doorway and stared down at us in a furry.

"Emmet," Bella said hesitantly, her chest rising and falling rapidly to get air. Emmet smelled the air and yelled even louder.

"Did you get my sister drunk?" he asked in outrage.

"I'm not drunk," Bella shouted, slipping our from under my arms and going over to Emmet.

"Don't lie to me! You smell like alcohol. What the fuck man?" Emmet said, directing his speech to me. "You were letting my little sister drink? Shes sixteen! Why were you even together?" he yelled.

"Emmet leave him alone it was my idea," Bella said. She grabbed onto his arm just in case he had bad intentions. I wasn't against fighting anyone who gave me a hard time, but I knew when I was outmatched. Besides the fact that Emmet was a good fifty pounds heavier than me he was my best friend and I wasn't going to touch him.

"Don't defend him Bella! I know what he does to girls like you, I've seen it first hand! All he wanted to do was get you drunk so he could get in your pants!" Emmet yelled.

It was my turn to argue now, "I would never do that to her Emmet!" I said, trying to keep my calm.

"Why not? You do that to ever girl, what makes her any different?" he shouted. He shook Bella off of him and pushed me against the kitchen wall. I held my hands up in defeat. "Why would you get her drunk and than kiss her if you didn't have bad intentions?" he growled at me.

"I'm not going to fight you Emmet," I said calmly.

"Well maybe I'm going to fight you," he yelled in my face.

"Nothing was going to happen," I defended myself.

"Only because I came downstairs in time," he shook his head in disgust.

"You know me better than that," I said, but sadly these past months we've grown apart and he doesn't know that.

"Nice try," Emmet muttered.

"If you touch him I'm leaving!" Bella said sternly. Emmets furious eyes ripped away from me to glare at Bella.

"Stay out of this," he hollered.

"This is happening because of me! I mean it Emmet. Let him go or I'm leaving and never coming back!" Emmet hesitated for a minute, but he soon released his grip on me and turned him back to walk away.

"I'm done Edward. Don't ever talk to me again, stay the fuck away from my sister, and stay the fuck away from my friends." His voice was so cold and serious I didn't reply. I gave Bella an apologetic glance than made my way to the door.

"Try and think rationally Emmet," were the last words I spoke.

"Don't worry about it Edward. The guy is a dick and he doesn't deserve you," Jacob said. After my insane night and run in with Emmet I headed to Jake because I had no one to talk to. My mother was out of surgery but she was under heavy sedation so no one could see her for a little bit longer. I nodded at Jacob but I still worried about Bella and the situation with Emmet. The stress still lingered in my bones. When I didn't answer Jacob sighed. "Alright I was going to save this, but desperate time cause for desperate measures. I might have something that will cheer you up," Jacob said. A mischievous grin lit up on Jake's face and he led me into his bedroom. He dug under his bed to where I knew he hid his stash. Instead of retrieving a freshly rolled blunt like usual, Jacob had a small plastic bag. Inside sat four fairly large blocks of uncrushable cocaine.

"Where did you get this," I asked in awe, grabbing the baggie out of his hand.

"A friend," he smirked. "I can get a shit load of grams out of this," Jacob said.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" I said before I could think twice.

"Not tonight man. I have work at six in the morning. You keep it and on Friday we can go hard. These sexy girls came into the shop yesterday and were hinting that they wanted to hangout. I got there numbers," he smiled triumphantly. Eager for Friday to come I thanked him and left in a hurry. I shoved the bag into my pocked and sped back to pick up Alice. I was about to cross the border between La Push and Forks when red and blue lights began flashing behind me. I cursed myself and kept driving, hoping that maybe it was for someone else. When I realized no one but myself was on the street, I knew I was fucked. Deja Vu flashed across my mind and before I had time to think about where to hide the Coke, and officer was banging on my window.

"License and registration please," he said. The man was probably in his fifties and had a pissed off expression plastered onto his face.

"Don't have any," I admitted.

"Step out of the car sir," he said. I sat looking forward, zoning out the old hag which he seemed to be offended by. "Get out of the car. Now!" the cop yelled. When I refused to move he grabbed under my shoulder so he could grip me tightly and throw me out of the drivers seat. The old bastard was pretty strong. I guess officers have a no tolerance policy after dark. He threw me against my car and yelled at me from the back, "You were going eighty miles an hour on a fifty road. Are you intoxicated?" he asked. I wanted to give him a smart ass comment about needing to state what he was charging me with before I got our of the car, but I decided it was best to keep my mouth shut.

"No," I answered.

"Are you on drugs?" he asked.

"No," I repeated.

"Are you carrying a weapon sir?" he demanded to know. He began patting down my pants to find out for himself when he reached into the pocked I had slipped the coke in. I knew I was done the second his fingers touched the clear bag. He grabbed the pouch, threw it down on the ground and reached for his gun all in one swift movement. "Get on your knees!" he screamed. When I didn't do what was asked, he kicked my shins out from under me, causing me to slam down on the ground. The old man cuffed my hands, reopening my once healing wound from previous nights "Do you realize you are carrying cocain sir? Do you realize that in the state of Washington possession of more than three grams doesn't get you a fine, but it lands you in jail!?" he screamed.

"I do," I muttered. My face was smashed against the concrete ground and I could feel my cheek bleeding out from beneath me.

"I am arresting you for possession of cocain and the mandatory assumption that you are dealing, transporting or smoking it all which are illegal. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney..."

**To clarify, Esme is supposed to have Uterine Cancer which, in this portion of the story is progressing to cause more infection and complications. I've been researching a lot to make sure all of my information is correct and the the more I learn about women suffering from Uterine Cancer the more amazing stories I discover. My aunt was recently diagnosed with a low scale Uterine cancer and had to get her womb and her fallopian tube removed. To be able to share this information with you guys makes me very happy. Look more into the cause and get informed. Thank you for reading, sorry I had to ruin Edwards life! More to come! **


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